Here's How To Calm Worry Like A Pro

Does this ever happen to you? You have a desire for something, an upgrade in some area of your life, but it’s a struggle to make progress, no matter how hard you try.

You’re not alone. With all the focus on manifestation, dreams and goals it can be hard to stay focused on the present moment and that’s truly where the magic happens.

I live in Los Angeles and things have definitely felt different since the recent fires. Dealing with the loss from the wildfires and increased crime in our area has been really stressful for so many people. It doesn’t take a natural disaster to create overwhelm, modern life itself is enough to do it.

It's completely understandable to feel overwhelmed by both present concerns and future uncertainties because it feels like there are so many steps and hurdles.
Often, it’s hard to know where to start or how you can get it all done. Bringing your focus into the present moment is the key.

Here are some practical approaches for staying present while still working toward a positive future:

Start with short mindfulness anchors throughout your day. When you're doing routine activities like washing dishes or waiting at a traffic light, try fully engaging with your senses - notice the temperature of the water, the sounds around you, or the feeling of your breath. These brief moments can help train your mind to return to the present more easily.

Create a "worry window" - set aside a specific 15–30-minute period each day to actively think about and plan for your concerns. When worries arise outside this time, gently remind yourself "I have time set aside to think about this later" and return to the present moment. This helps prevent anxiety from spreading throughout your entire day while still acknowledging valid concerns.

Connect physical action with future planning. For instance, while going for a walk, you might think about one small, concrete step you can take toward your goals. Physical movement helps keep you grounded in the present while the planning stays manageable and action oriented.

Practice the "5-4-3-2-1" technique when anxiety spikes: Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This quickly brings you back to your immediate experience.

If just thinking about adding in multiple steps or strategies to help you refocus adds to your overwhelm, allow me to recommend starting with just one new approach and that’s the “Worry Window”.

The worry window is a really effective technique for managing anxiety! The basic idea is to transform worrying from something that randomly hijacks your day into a structured, intentional activity.

Here's how to implement it:

Pick a specific time each day - ideally not too close to bedtime - and set a timer for 15-30 minutes. During this time, you actively engage with your worries. You might:

• Write down everything that's concerning you

• Categorize your worries into "things I can control" and "things I can't control"

• For controllable issues, develop small, specific action steps

• For uncontrollable issues, practice acceptance or develop coping strategies

The key is that when worries pop up outside your designated window, you acknowledge them briefly and then say to yourself "I'll think about this during my worry time." This helps break the habit of spiraling into anxiety throughout the day.

What makes this technique particularly powerful is that it often reveals patterns in our worrying. You might notice that certain concerns feel less urgent when you deliberately postpone them, or that some worries don't even feel worth revisiting during your designated time.

Now, yes right now, let’s set up your worry window!

Think about what time of day might work best for you, considering your schedule and energy levels.

Let's design a worry window that fits naturally into your daily rhythm. The ideal time should be when you:

1. Having enough mental energy to problem-solve

2. Won't be frequently interrupted

3. Have some time afterwards to transition to other activities

4. Aren't too close to bedtime (to avoid sleep disruption)

Many people find mid-afternoon works well - perhaps 3-4 PM, when the workday is winding down, but you still have energy. Or during lunch break if you have a private space. Another option is early evening, like 6-7 PM, after work but before evening relaxation begins.

Here's a suggested structure for your worry window:

First 5 minutes: Quick brain dump of all current worries onto paper

Next 10 minutes: Sort concerns into:

• Immediate actions needed

• Future planning required

• Things outside your control

Final 10 minutes: Choose 1-2 items from the "immediate actions" list and make a specific plan to address them

What time of day do you typically feel most clear-headed and able to solve problems? Drop it in the comments! When I suggest the worry window to my clients, we work with that to find your optimal window. This is an example of a response I commonly hear to the scheduling question:

“I do get a little sleepy around 3 pm. I think that's when the overwhelm really starts to hit me. What time would make a good worry window for me?”

My Answer: That 3 PM slump is actually a really important insight. If that's when you tend to feel overwhelmed, it might be strategic to schedule your worry window slightly before then - maybe 2-2:30 PM. This way, you're:

1. Getting ahead of the overwhelm rather than trying to problem-solve when you're already tired

2. Using the natural transition point in your day purposefully

3. Potentially preventing some of that afternoon anxiety by addressing concerns proactively

You could pair this with a small physical pick-me-up for after your worry window, like:

• A short walk outside

• Some light stretching

• A healthy snack and water

• A few minutes of deep breathing

This combination of mental processing followed by physical care can help you move through that difficult part of the day more smoothly.

Hopefully, you have narrowed down a time that will work for you, so let's get you started with your worry window tomorrow.

Here's a simple way to begin:

Find a quiet spot where you can sit comfortably for 30 minutes. Keep a notebook and pen handy - writing things down is more effective than just thinking about them, and it helps create a sense of control.

For your first session, try this structure: 2:00 - Write down everything that's on your mind about the wildfires, crime, and any other concerns 2:10 - Go through your list and mark which things you can take action on 2:20 - Pick just one actionable item and create a simple next step for it 2:30 - Do your physical pick-me-up (maybe start with a 5-minute walk outside?)

Remember, the first few days might feel a bit awkward or artificial - that's completely normal. You're building a new habit, and it takes time for it to feel natural.

Would you like to plan out your first worry window session in more detail? If so, keep reading! First, identify a specific spot where you'll do this and what your physical pick-me-up activity will be.

Let's design your first worry window session to be manageable and effective.

Location: First, let's pick your spot. Ideally, you want somewhere:

• With minimal distractions

• Where you can write comfortably

• Where you won't be interrupted

This could be a quiet corner of your office, a peaceful spot in your home, or even your car if you need privacy. Where do you have in mind that meets these criteria?

Materials needed:

• A notebook dedicated just to your worry windows

• A pen

• A timer (phone is fine, but put it on do not disturb)

• Water

For your first physical pick-me-up, I suggest something very simple and doable - perhaps stepping outside for 5 minutes of sunshine and fresh air. This can help shift your energy while also giving you a moment to mentally close your worry window.

On a personal note, for me, I like to use my car and it’s been an excellent choice! It's like a private bubble where you can be completely undisturbed. Plus, you can easily transition from writing to your physical pick-me-up by simply stepping out for your walk.

If you’re like me and want to use your car, here are some ways to set up your car worry window:

1. Park in a spot that's shaded and peaceful (maybe with a nice view if possible?) You can even just sit in your driveway.

2. Bring your notebook and pen to work with you tomorrow

3. Set your car up before you start:

   • Adjust your seat to a comfortable writing position

   • Set the temperature so you'll be comfortable for 30 minutes

   • Put your phone on silent but use it as your timer

   • Have some water with you

Wherever you spend your worry window time, for your first session, you might want to start with: "Right now I'm worried about..." and just let yourself write freely. Don't worry about organization in your first session - just get it all out on paper.

After writing, you can either:

• Take a short walk around where you're parked

• Or drive to a nearby spot you enjoy for your 5-minute breather

Make this easy on yourself. Keeping it simple by using your driveway is a perfect way to start- it removes any barriers that might make it harder to stick with the practice. Your driveway is ideal because:

1. You won't waste any time driving somewhere

2. You're already familiar with your neighborhood for the walk

3. You can easily grab anything you forget (like water or your notebook)

4. If the weather is bad, you can quickly move inside

For your walk route, you might want to decide on a simple 5-minute loop around your immediate neighborhood ahead of time. Having a pre-planned route means you won't have to make decisions when you're transitioning out of your worry window.

Using a familiar route that you already associate with positive experiences (like walking your dog) is ideal. One loop around the block is just right for this purpose - it's long enough to shift your energy but short enough to feel very doable after your worry window.

Since you've got both your worry spot (car) and your transition activity (loop around the block) figured out, you're all set for tomorrow's first session. Remember, the goal of this first worry window isn't perfection - it's simply to start the practice. Some days you might write a lot, others very little, and that's completely fine.

Is there anything else you'd like to plan out for tomorrow's first session, or would you like to just give it a try and see how it feels? Think about it but keep it simple and easy to do and let me know how it works out for you!

Bobbi